down to the bottom and oh what a bottom it is

i could walk for hours. days, maybe. i could walk from portland to the beaches and be ok. good, even. everyone gets their rocks off on bike riding, but i could walk just about anywhere. secretly, i walk miles every day instead of taking the bus.

tonight my famous friend said, 'i just pretended for five years to be the thing i wanted to be and then suddenly i was.' AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! noted.

love is for suckers. i don't care what you say. suckazzzzz.

thank god for 'rumours' and 'domestica'.

i like short hair stevie best.

all the rockers are old. well, all the ones i like anyway. that's a sign of something.

so is the fact that i like the toilet paper better in my house than in my parent's. that's got to be a sign of something.

2009 resolutions on their way.

merry christmas to everyone. much much love.

whatever, i'm going to see conor tonight. whatever everything!

Peggy Bundy called me a in a dream last night- she wanted to help me get out of debt. It was very sweet and sounded just like her. I called her back, but I couldn't get the numbers on my phone to work right.

it had begun to go downhill for the beach boys prior to full house, but playing the republican national convention? seriously? one of my top five all time favorite bands? this shouldn't change anything, but it does. now i know that partisan politics is not the be all and end all and wild honey (though not a brian wilson one) is still an amazing album, and i suppose i'm not articulating this well enough, but i DO see the stupidity in decrying a band because of their politics, AND i am well aware that barack obama is NOT the epitome what america really could be. I know that i am so excited for a change and i really think he is the man to get it started, however i know that it's still short of what i really want and what this nation really needs (i do believe this): the successful implementation of universal healthcare, improved government sponsored funding for education and the arts, upholding roe v. wade at all costs, freedom to marry, and improved immigrant worker programs coupled with a complete retooling of the policies and procedures of the US Department of Immigration and Naturalization. that's my dream wish list. HOWEVER, to actively support a party that has unlawfully conspired to keep one of the most toxic presidents this nation has ever seen in office is just repulsive. it's been said by better writers than i to the nth degree, but this man and his party has effectively spent MY money and the money of all my friends on war. they've sent my peers to witness atrocities the likes of which i could never even begin to comprehend. they've tapped our phones, FUCKED up our natural resources, controlled the media and allowed for these fucking corporations to take over the world. what happened to trust busting politics and some fucking integrity? okay, maybe not integrity, but there was something that made teddy roosevelt do what he did. i don't know. just don't let the beach boys align themselves with that in any capacity. i know the inherent flaws in the argument. don't care.

You know, I thought I had more to say.

NOT living in London.

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/theatre/2008/04/bring_on_the_mighty_boosh_fest.html

I love you, PDX, but there is no Boosh here.

I can't believe it's really, really over. I can't believe he actually wanted it more than I did. I can't believe we'll never have kids, I can't wear my ring, I can't listen to these albums or these mixes or read these old emails. His books are on my shelf and he'll never come get them. What do I need Lebesgue Integration of Euclidean Space for? What do I need the Burial album for? What will I do with them? When will it really feel ok again? I hate this. I hate it so fucking hard.

Rain and rain and rain and MOVING and packing and unpacking and coffee in the new red kitchen and ahhhhhhh, this is fucking great.

from the guardian.co.uk

"Art

The experts: Ekow Eshun director, ICA; Grayson Perry artist; Matthew Slotover editor, Frieze magazine

Q Is the urinal in my local pub a work of art?

EE: No, sometimes a urinal really is just a urinal.

GP: Yes. I have just declared it so, but unlike Duchamp's fountain, mine is a very derivative, childish and boring work of art.

MS: No - Duchamp's urinal was art once he put it in a gallery. In fact, one working definition of art is anything that is in a gallery.

Q Are we now post-postmodern?

GP: We are if it satisfies your need to categorise everything. Contemporary art often plays to the part of us that is very uncomfortable with not being sure, that cannot maintain a state of 'don't know'. The over-prioritising of meaning gets in the way of just experiencing the art in a more sensual way. Judging quality purely from an intuitive emotional response needs more confidence and experience than just working it out like a crossword clue.

Q Why are there so few great female painters?

EE: Ask Frida Kahlo. Or Georgia O'Keeffe. Or Bridget Riley.

GP: Marlene Dumas and Paula Rego might take exception to this question. Desmond Morris says that men make better artists because they are greater risk-takers; on the other hand, he thinks that women are better organisers and diplomats and more suited to become politicians.

MS: Art (and society) was a lot more subject to sexism 50 years ago than it is now. Since that period, there have been plenty of very good female painters, 2006 Turner Prize-winner Tomma Abts among them. How much history needs to pass before an artist is called 'great'? That is the real question.

Q When does a movement become a movement?

MS: Movements are overrated and invented by the press. Ask any artist if they feel or felt part of a movement - the good ones will all say no.

Q Can you make a great work of art accidentally?

EE: That's like asking whether you can write a great book or shoot a great movie accidentally. Even splashing paint across a canvas takes effort and concentration if you want to end up with something meaningful and lasting.

GP: Yes, definitely, but recognising it as a great work takes great talent.

MS: Art is about the context in which it is made as much as the object itself; objects take on different meanings in different contexts. If the artist is unaware of the context, it's very unlikely the work will be very good.

Q Can graffiti be a work of art?

MS: Graffiti is something written on a wall, and, of course, art can be exhibited or produced anywhere: a wall is just another venue. Banksy's work is achieving very high prices at present. He's making paintings for private collectors, but I'm not seeing museum shows of his work yet. All good artists think about their audience and I do think that Banksy's work is fantastically arresting when you see it. Street art is designed to be seen out of the corner of your eye, on the hoof. Art that's made for galleries is made to be looked at in a more static way for a longer period of time and may not be so striking immediately, but perhaps resonates for a longer period. But the term 'work of art' is being used here as the pinnacle of visual culture which is not a correct assumption. Is graffiti as important culturally as Picasso? Now that's a very interesting question.

Q Does great art always have something to do with suffering?

EE: That's a myth perpetrated by the Romantics that still lingers on today. These days, most artists aren't starving in their garrets. In fact, when was the last time you even saw an artist in a garret?

GP: It is true that there are not many smiling faces in modern art galleries. Happy art is much harder to make. Art and humour are uneasy bedfellows. Artists need strong feelings to motivate them to make things. I am often fuelled by anger."

maya recently posted a wes anderson themed blog and i was watching the clips thinking to myself, 'wow, i really genuinely LIKE all the actors in the life aquatic'. That really, rarely happens. So I started to compile a mental list of all the actors i really, honestly truly like and respect.

:

Javier Bardem
Elizabeth Taylor
Anjelica Huston
Anne Bancroft
Goldie Hawn
Bill Murray
Gilda Radner
Paul Dano
Gael Garcia Bernal (or whatever variation of his name is correct)
Jeff Goldblum
Cate Blanchett
Paul Newman
Carol Burnett
Lauren Bacall
Gregory Peck
Jimmy Stewart
James Garner


That is relatively definitive, I think. That's all.

today i saw a car with what appeared to be a long glittery tail. Upon further inspection (speeding up next to the car to see what was going on) i realized that a man was carefully and slowly unravelling the contents of one casette tape and shoving it out the window. WHY would anyone do that?


last night i was really tempted to buy a lottery ticket. gambling is the one vice that i do not possess and do not wish to, so i did not buy the ticket. BUT wouldn't it be seriously fucking cool to win a shitload of money? Today I realized that, because of all the other vices, I have way more lines around my eyes than a healthy 24 year old woman should have. bad scene.


i'm still revelling in the glory of purchasing the most perfect jeans i have ever seen and finding my favorite lipgloss and i feel positively bonafide OC.

I should probably get a REGULAR blog- a blog that I can make fun categories to post different sorts of THINGS...and, and, and to customize and really, you know, do it up right. Because, unfortunately, THIS is not working. I never post in here, and really, I don't even read anything here anymore. Maybe, though, I'm just NOT a blogger. I write- I write every darned day- but maybe I am just not meant to use a BLOG as my chosen method by which to dispense all the juicytidbits that pop out of my fabulous brain.

I think I used to write about going to shows and making out with boys and bands that you all just HAD to listen to. But like, I don't really DO those things anymore. I haven't made out with a boy for a really long time and I have a long term boyfriend that I just pine for all the livelong day. I have a fulltime job that requires me to wake up too early to go to shows 5 nights out of the week (plus, there's just not that much anymore that I want to find people to go with to, come up with 20 dollars- double parantheses: !!! 20 dollars, my GOD!!!- end double parantheses, do my hair and leave the house by 8). I don't really have the need to exclaim triumphantly that Belle & Sebastian is the best band in the whole wide world, because, well, anyone who reads this knows that, already. And at this point, every 17 year old kid (THANKS A LOT SETH AND THE OC) knows it, too.

No, these days I watch a lot of Law and Order: SVU, go to the record store and buy so many records that I can't pay the bills, read, and sew. I work and call my boyfriend and dream of having my own kitchen and an espresso maker and I just don't feel the need to tell YOU that I know THINGS: IMPORTANT, IMPORTANT THINGS.

I used to want to tell everyone about bands and quirky friends and boys and movies from other countries- and for the past 2 years I've tried to keep up that not so clever way of "blogging". But, now I want to keep those things under my hat and keep them for me and my friends and enjoy them quietly. I don't know what changed. I guess I'd rather talk about Flight of the Conchords with my friends and listen to music with Andrew in the way that ONLY we can (and Kelly). Everything is so very different.

My life is so very aimless, sometimes. I'd like to write a novel. I'd like to teach history. I'd like to sew pretty dresses and drink nice wine. I'm sort of getting there, though. And every day feels just a little bit closer to that. I read everyone else's blogs, though. And I see that they are KICKBOXING in CHINA! and having giant PARTIES and living dreamy dreamy creative life. And you see, it's not that I'm jealous- I get a bit wistful, I think, though. I feel lots of pressure to take care of my family and to prove that I care by holding down a proper job and showing that I'm TRYING to take care of them. I don't want to be rich, I just want to pay my phone bill on time.

Things are just so different. I feel a little bit boring, though I'm more creatively productive than I have been in years. I just feel so normal. So NOT kickboxing in China. So not, going to art galleries and hobnobbing and sipping champagne. Just boring. And sort of quietly content. The crazy times are the best times and I miss all the crazy. Maybe the crazy will come back soon. I sure hope so. Until then, I'll do my own quiet thing and maybe I'll have more crazy fun shit to tell you all, later.

Suddenly I'm kind of a grown up, and it happened way more quickly than I meant it to. I mean, I always THOUGHT I was a grown up- but now I've got people that depend on me, love, goals, and a proper job.

Maybe it's just that proper job thing that is blowing my mind. I miss it all, and I'm lonely.

Anyway, I might get a proper blog to help me organize the different things I do, and then I'll keep you all updated. So ta ta.

i'm going to force my children to wear knee socks until they are in high school. hopefully, they'll go to one of those private high schools that makes them wear knee socks, too! Maybe I'll move them all to japan just so they have to wear those big slouchy ones.